ahh i didn't write anything here in a long time huh.i was just reading my posts and im giggling because they're kinda silly to me now.although i have to say yeah it was rough back then.anyway!! im way better now! after all those posts and my parents yelling at me in not studying i got excellent grades that semester haha.same situation was in,,april and may?? i had those entrance-exams for high school and it went better than i expected! i got C from serbian and math aand A from english wow.then,we had prom.it was also okay! people were saying i was so different and pretty,and i felt like that myself?? it was amazing yeah.
this summer sucks by the way haha but!! that's okay.there's this boy i like(d)?? and wow,he's a jerk but i still like him??? like idk,he's cute and nice but then again he's an ass.he makes me confused i hate him,but i like him,,,but i hate him ,and like him.......
besides that life is good.im spending time with my internet friends and wow it's great ,i love them so much.

again.why? please somebody tell why is she like that?? i can't even talk about it.i can't be perfect mother.why are you doing this to me? and then i wonder why do i feel so depressed every day.i knew it had reason.im not crazy.everybody thinks that im insane.im not.i just have problems i don't want to talk about with my parents.or at least with my mother.and my dad probably wouldn't understand.im so sick of this.

i officially hate my mother.she is such a bothersome person.i can't stand it.if i say nothing happened in school then nothing happened no matter how much nervous i am.i wish she would just say 'if there's something that bothering you tell me' or something like that.it's like she's forcing me to lie.i can handle everything in the school.it's just four more years.and i of course i get pissed and i yell and it's my fault.i don't like my class okay? they are all bunch of idiots that has nothing better to do except for complaining to others.and yes even those i went in class from first to fourth grade.yes,they are like that too.but you can't say that to her normally.she just can't take it in her head.i wish she's like my dad.he knows when it's enough and he'd leave you alone if you want to.god damn it.im not saying im good or better than them.im trying to be that.im trying not to be like them but that doesn't really makes me different.and that's the reason.i don't like myself.if im not different than them then i don't want to be with them.with someone like me.i don't know.maybe it's really better for me to start liking myself.it's stuck on my mind so bad.but,today is my dearest friend's birthday so i should be happy for her at least today.i can't wait to start attending the high school so i could just be with her.

my mom told me things i was afraid of hearing.she said that im not studying(which is actually not true and i wrote about it) and that all im doing is sitting in front of the computer.and that's why my spine is curve and that she hasn't seen me in living not even once with others watching tv or talking or some other shit.it's true.it's all true.what what can i do with family that doesn't understand me at all.yeah im a teenager what do they expect from me? to be hard-working? to just talk to them like it's nothing? i think she forgot that she was a teenager too.and it really pissed me off.i didn't said that my family isn't my life.it is.i love them but they don't even try to understand me.and tumblr is not stupid site okay? there are a lot of people that have same problems like me.they feel me.that's my little world.maybe,if it wasn't for that site i probably wouldn't be here right now.typing this.im staying alive because of internet.and all those people.she said that im escaping reality and that i don't have any girl friends.yes,but my reality sucks.internet is maybe a world of lies where everything is perfect but so what if i escape to it time from time? and i have friends.i have girl friend i really love.she may not be only one i hang out with but she's best of them.seriously.and i have tumblr friends.friends who don't bully me and friends who understands me.i just wish my parents would get that.

hmm im such a bad friend.im selfish.always whining about having no friends but im not nice one.im saying this but im not sure if it's true.i mean,my best friend is maybe not my best friend anymore.and it's killing me.i mean,he's kind of annoying and everyone at school thinks that too.he can be sweet and funny but sometimes that funny isn't really funny.he even pushed me in front of a car.it was an accident but i have could've die there.and he's asking people if he can come to their house.to someone it maybe is not problem,but for me it kind of is? it's just,it would be rude to say no but what if i actually can't? i'll have to talk to him.

anyway i stared my new terms not so good.i got D from biology.and it she gave us test because my class was talking of course.but what does that have to do with me? i never talk at class.why do i have to suffer 'cause of others? ugh i hate that so much.and i hate that teacher.i don't care if she's sister of our homeroom teacher.whatever.

what the fuck? i'll kill them,i swear.if they ever say that im not studying or that im against studying from two pm to seven pm i'll rip their faces off.cause i've been trying not only not play on computer but also not to touch it and they want to take it away from me? if that actually happens,im out off here.im just taking all the books,all my clothes and im going somewhere else.cause i won't study for nothing.especially if i don't have any tests or anything next day.
i have no books to read except the shitty required reading for school.and that's what they're calling literature.i read what i want and i won't read those 'adult' books cause im 14,not 34.if i want to read teenage books i'll read them.by the way,books about animes don't exist mom.
and what kind of world are they talking about? from all of their stories and speeches i know what reality is like.i mean,otherwise they'd told me that life is like field of butterflies like other parents tell to their children.and i know what it's like to be invisible and bullied and everything.but i don't give a shit about it all.if i'd give a fuck it would be best for me to kill myself.why do should i care? to fight? what for? better life? i want to go to america,japan and everywhere else.and what,im fighting so they could tell me one day that i can't go there? see,that's the reason why i don't give a damn.i know well what is it gonna be and what would it be.

i think it was bad for me to watch perfect blue after all.it's like i was paranoid all day.i hate that feeling.even now,i can't look into room of my parents..
ahh,i hate the fact that im so laaazy and that i forget this so easily.
soo,i will seriously kill everyone in my class.im not weak.i could kick their asses if i want to but im too tired every day..anyway,im doing those exercises for my spine and it's really hard so for 5 months i'll beat them up.all of them.even girls.except for one.she's going on karate and judo eheh..he.
and that bitch teacher of serbian.ughhhhhrr i just want to rip her face off.
and i don't what to do on twitter or even here.my last couple of days are pretty..boring.im not doing anything.nothing is happening.

but those questions i get on formspring every day are great,really! i love them.and i love the people who send them.i mean,i thought formspring is place where only popular kind ask each other anonymous.but there are actually smart and kind people.